For all Us Passionate Girls

I am a passionate girl. Which means that I want to feel it, I want the guy to show it and I find it hard to live without it. Unfortunately I do, on a daily basis.

If I picture my perfect love life it is always accompanied by some sort of a beach, a flowy dress and bare feet with a lot of running, dancing and kissing. Unfortunately for me, no matter how desperate I am to feel passion, it feels as if I’m a always pushing for it.. But never really feel it. I want to shake with desire. I want to do crazy things and I want to feel crazy over someone, even if it is later accompanied by a lot of tears and sad music.away-field-girl-red-dress-running-Favim.com-161462

However, just as I crave passion, I also tend to be quite passionate about expressing my anger with a guy. There are some girls that can calmly wait out a situation, then turn it around in their favor. I am in awe of them. If I get mad, I’m like a bottle of soda you shake for too long. Reason fades away. Logic remains, but it is expressed in a pretty loud way. I need the guy to understand why I’m mad. I need to talk it over. NOW. Or I will burst. Afterwards, when I’m done exploding, and we a talk it over, the whole matter is usually done with. I become calm and reasonable and happy.

Don’t think that I attack men with scissors, or throw dishes at them. But I need to get out my anger and frustration right away. Otherwise I will not be able to do anything. Here’s a great example: you had a bit of a fight with your boyfriend and never made up. You talked it over calmly, both said sorry, but he never kissed you afterwards. Just left you hanging. You both get into bed, he hugs you good night and that’s it. Just falls asleep. In the last case, this happened to me while visiting my ex (long distance) boyfriend two days ago. Strangely enough, an identical accident occurred with my previous ex-long distance boyfriend two years ago. Maybe, a reasonable girl would go to sleep and deal with it in the morning. What does a crazy girl like me do?

  1. Roll on the other side of the bed. As physically far away from his as possible. (Without falling)
  2. When he asks what’s wrong say “Nothing…” Whilst fuming terribly.
  3. As he falls asleep, become infuriated again. How the hell does he not know I am mad?
  4. Start fuming loudly.
  5. He asks what’s wrong again. Say “You know what’s wrong.”
  6. When he fails to understand and falls asleep again, begin making strange sobbing noises
  7. When he doesn’t respond, saunter into another room and sit there fuming and making a mix of slobbering/sobbing/angry noises so the jerk finally wakes up. I mean how can he sleep peacefully when I am so upset?
  8. When he finally comes out and looks at you in an exasperated manner, start blaming him of being cold. Not affectionate. That you feel like you are married with him for years.
  9. When he asks you to come to bed, stay seated and angry, wanting him to plead more.
  10. Finally getting tired of the stupidity and wanting to cuddle against him you shuffle back to the bed, yearning with all your heart for him to hug you and kiss you and tell you how much he needs you. And maybe some make-up sex?make-up-sex-couple-dating-flirting-ecards-someecards

This is a truthful example of what happened to me two years ago and this is very similar to what happened two days ago when a long distance boyfriend I went to visit for three days pulled this on me. This time I wasn’t as crazy as what I portrayed, but I was so upset that I couldn’t sleep for hours and paced around the living room sobbing. I think there’s nothing worse than being with a guy who no longer wants to have sex with you. And you begin feeling like a block of wood next to him.

The next morning I thought that we resolved everything and still he never made a move on me. Even in the morning, when it looked like we finally made up, he didn’t want to spend another minute in bed with me, but suggested we get up early to go to mass. To pray for my sins, I suppose?

At  this point, I got so upset that I acted like a complete girl – turned around and started crying. How sexy, right? I was leaving the next day and he preferred to go to church instead of spending time with me, instead of any intimacy. When I told him I was thinking of catching the next bus back home, he told me I was immature. When I asked him if he would stop me he  said “No.” That he would if he were in high school, that this was too much for him and even though he knew I was hurt he ‘couldn’t do anything’.

huggingDo anything? All we really need sometimes, as girls, is for the man to hug us, kiss us and tell us he needs us. This is not rocket science. And I truly believe that it’s better to express yourself and be passionate, then to go through your life second guessing every action, being careful not to say the wrong thing and not acting on instinct.

I would never hit a guy, but if I did, I want someone who would envelop me in his arms and tell me how ridiculous our fight is. I want a strong man who would not let me leave. He would go after me and grab my bag out of my arms, so I would stay. I want a man who can give me both passion and reason with me when I’m being ridiculous. But love me because I am that ridiculous sometimes. Especially when I get mad.

What about all of you, girls?

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Let’s Talk about Stereotypes! – Italian, French, German

Every time I am interested in a guy from a different country, I make sure to read some of the ‘truths’ of dating this specific culture. I type in something like ‘dating a Spanish guy’ and get a variety of articles about how the Spanish are romantic, passionate and should call you often. I must admit, it’s very entertaining, and there is definitely some sense to them.  I live for stereotypes, as I’ve been told countless times… but how true are they? Or is it just easier to make an assumption?

After all, how many ‘do you drink vodka and do gymnastics’ do I get just because I’m a Russian. The best is ‘But you are not BLONDE!?’

So let me break down what I believe are facts and myths of popular stereotypes.

The Italians

Stereotype 1: Italians are whores.

Fact: Obviously there are great guys that are looking for a serious relationship, but to be frank with you, many of them are just not that good looking or confident.  The majority of the good looking guys will never be faithful to you. Even when they’re fifty. Even when they can’t get it up any more. The important part of their southern culture is passion, which is a great thing. The bad part about it is this passion will need to be fueled up every so often, preferably by different women. If you notice a man holding his girlfriend’s hand and eyeing you, he is doing that mostly to feed his own ego and to feel he still ‘has it’ in him. And we wonder why Italian girls are so high maintenance! What would you do if your boyfriend couldn’t be faithful to you for one minute? In the words of Ariana who scored a beautiful ‘Dolce and Gabbana’ lookalike Alessandro “Once a bitch was looking at him. I say ‘Ey,you. Who you looking at, Puta?’ I have to be like that or someone else get him, you know?”

Stereotype 2: Italian men are in love with themselves

Fact: If you’ve ever been to an Italian beach and seen a man spray-tanning himself and orlebarbrownthen staring at his chest with a mix of awe and love, you will get what I’m talking about. What about the crazy bright colors that the men so enjoy? Pink polos? Green capris? A variety of scarves?Tiny white shorts? Styled hair (that literally waves in the breeze) and plucked eyebrows? In North America, all of the above mean only one thing: you are gay, my friend. (But just for the record, I love it)

Stereotype 3: Italian men are beautiful at seduction

Fact: One thing that I find Italians are wonderful at is getting you into bed effortlessly. How do they manage it? Well, for one, they understand that we girls are starved for attention, passion and spontaneity… especially if residing in countries where men are too scared to make a move and even if they do, it is more robotic than sexy .  On the contrary, Italian men ooze sex appeal, they know how to make you feel like you are the center of the universe, how to create romance and how to convince you that if you don’t have sex with them it will be your loss, not theirs. After all, you will miss out on the night you will never forget. Probably a week of tears as well, especially if you were convinced he really liked you.

simonThe French

Stereotype 1: The French are the best dressers

Myth/Fact: This one really depends. I have dated two French guys who had very little sense of style, but Parisians are a whole different matter. I recently went out with a Parisian who was dressed to the t: stylish jacket, collared shirt, impeccably smelling. As in any culture, it depends on the person, but when they have it, they really have it. Not only that, most French guys will appreciate a woman to be well put together. By that, I don’t mean short dresses that show off your crotch. They appreciate a woman who has an elegant style, good hygiene and classy perfume. Bonus to you if the perfume is French as well!

Stereotype 2: French look down their noses at everyone

Myth/Fact: I was sitting at my friend’s house when his Parisian roomate I just met, decided to share his opinion on people from Montreal. It went along the lines of “Zos people sink zey are French, but zey are NOT! Zey speek sheet language! It is not French! It is like saying Americaines are from England. It is simplee not true!” And this went on for a good half an hour. But again, Parisians are special. We all know that.

Stereotype 3: French men are worldly and well-rounded

Paris-wedding-France-romance-wedding-dress-arinab-photography-vintage-inspired-wedding-wedding-in-paris-3Fact: So so so true! One guy I was seeing could start the conversation with politics and end with history. He had an  opinion about everything and always thought hard about any question I asked him, then would come up with a well-detailed and thought out response. But beware ladies.. while it is all very charming and deep at first, it will soon turn into over analyzing and annoying. Such as: Isn’t this skirt a bit too short? Why are you wearing a bikini in your Facebook profile? You seem bored.. You do not like spending your Sunday watching a French theater about restorative justice? (All of the above from a real experience.. within the same day) So while at first this philosophizing is wonderful and is such a great contrast from North American guys, many of whom will quote “the Anchorman” as their source of information… this nagging, obsessing, and overly critical approach to life and to you will soon have you running up the walls or rushing at him with a knife.

 French are great lovers

Double Fact: YES!!!!!!!!!!! Not that I’ve been with the whole of the French population. But two of the best lovers I have ever been with were French so that has to say something. They put so much emphasis on your satisfaction and they will do anything to live up to their reputation. And yes, they are very sexual. Being naked is natural to them. Sex is natural and there is nothing that’s off limits. In the opinion of my past boyfriend – making love or faire l’amour is passion, craziness, wildness, softness, dominating.. while having sex is just ‘useless’. Also, having sex on the first or second date doesn’t label you a ‘slut’ or put a dead end to a relationship like we tend to believe in North America (and in fact, most of the world)

The Germans

Stereotype 1: They are pragmatic

Fact: Instead of providing you with my opinion, I will tell you a true story told to me by my German girlfriend. “On my first date, I was with my then boyfriend cutting up potatoes for the soup. Don’t even ask me why I was cutting up potatoes on the first date. Anyways, I was cutting them perpendicularly, when he stopped me and suggested I cut them the other way. After all that would save time and make them boil quicker, as a result, saving energy. So there you go, Mia, those are Germans for you in a nut-shell. First date: potatoes and saving energy.”

Stereotype 2: They are horrible in bed

Myth: Ok, not a lot of experience. But they are apparently rated number 1 worst in bed because they are ‘too smelly’. From what I’ve seen (or rather smelled), no, they are not. Not bad either. Probably a bit robotic and aggressive. Also they make some strange/interesting sounds…

Stereotype 3: They lack a sense of humor

Myth: No, they’re very funny. Just in a very dry, sarcastic and dark kind of way.  So when they make a joke, sometimes it’s not clear if it actually IS one. It’s like “ha..ha… Is he joking or should I be scared?” But, really, I love their sense of humor because it is so unexpected and because it is that dry. But that’s just me.

In conclusion, I definitely believe in stereotypes. I enjoy them. I laugh about them. I write about them, but I do think that while stereotypes are there for a reason they cannot ever be applied to the whole country. Also, this is a new generation of people which has been raised with internet, Facebook and Hollywood movies, so the whole world has become a bit Americanized.

coloStill, many men are aware of their cultural stereotypes and try to use it them to their full potential. After all, how many girls go to Paris just to be swept off their feet? And we are still asking why European men love tourists. Because they CAN easily sweep them off their feet using the cliched phrases (amour, bella.. lieben?), postcard locations (Eiffel tower, Colosseum.. the Berlin Wall?) and their ‘sexy’ accent (German? ya?) to finalize the deal.

PS. All these observations are generalizations. I am aware that there are faithful Italians, stupid French people and passionate Germans.. so do not take this too literally.