“Do you really have to use fuck when complimenting a woman?” I really was trying to see if he would grasp the concept of classiness.
“I’m not tryina pick you up” he grumbled angrily.
I sighed, exasperated. Trying to get some understanding into this guy would be like banging your head against a brick wall.
This is just one person, you might say. One example of a drunken guy trying to chat up a girl. Having lived in Toronto all of sixteen years now, I can safely say this classless boy is my representation of the guys in the city.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that all Toronto guys lack class, but they surely are lost when dealing with a woman. I used to think that it is the way it’s supposed to be. It’s normal to walk down the street and not be acknowledged with a smile or a meaningful glance from an attractive guy. But when it becomes nearly impossible to meet a quality man on the streets, bars and at events, a girl really begins to run out of options.
This is why I love Montreal. Only five hours away from Toronto, it has a culture unique to our typically North American city. Even with its freezing, depressing winters and piles of snow, Montreal has retained an air of possibility that Toronto simply lacks (but the damn snow, alas – not). I can walk through the streets and be met with inquiring, interested and flirty gazes. I can look at the guy I am interested in and get a real reaction, unlike the glassy, scared deer in the headlights look I get in Toronto. Let me really break down why I believe artsy Montreal has way more potential than busy Toronto.
1. Guys are much cuter. Not only that, their eyes flicker with a spark, a sense of interest… while Torontonians generally look bland with eyes that express nothing
2. They know how to dress
3. The know how to flirt. They can strike up an interesting conversation, during which they look you in the eyes and seem actually interested in what you have to say instead of too busy thinking how to get with you. Toronto guys on the other hand, really don’t know how to approach you in a classy way. This is the way I have been flirted with in the past.
a. Hey, so my friend is thinking of getting a beard. What do you think?(The friend comes up conveniently) Beard, no beard?
b. Hi, uh. So you come here often, uh? (eyes are usually huge and all over the place)
c. Dude, look at your shirt. That’s awesome. You’ve been to Costa Rica! High five! (I unwillingly raise my hand so he doesn’t look completely lame. I can’t believe I have just been called ‘dude’. I can assure you I don’t look like one)
d. Awkwardly staring. Even if I smile, he doesn’t approach.
e. Heyyyy, whereyougoingprettygurl? (drunken group slur)Comeback! Wewannatalktoya.
While Montreal flirting usually goes along the lines of simple:
a. Hello, I am Frederick. What is your name?
Easy, breezy and under control.
3. Men have more of a sense of who they are. They have a culture, an individuality, a personality and something to say. They do not use lines from “The Anchorman” or “The Game”. They do not treat you as a “dude”. They are quite aware that you are a lady and should be treated as such.
5. There is a sense of playfulness and possibility in the air, whereas Toronto lacks all of the above.
I am aware that Toronto women are partly responsible for the lack of action on the guys’ part. I know from talking to countless guys that their bitchy attitude scarred the guys for life and now they are too wounded to make a move. So, they would rather pretend they are better than you or ignore you. The reality is that even if they do talk to you, there is no sense of spontaneity in them. The conversations are a bit pre-programmed and even the voices sometimes sound robotic. I used to try all sort of book methods such as smiling, approaching even and asking questions that might lead to a conversation. I used to think it was me that did not make enough effort. Montreal shows all girls that there is no such thing. That we do not have to make it seventy percent easier for the men, but instead the men should find the courage to approach you. You smile to the man and BAM, he smiles back, following it up with the approach. This is the way it used to be and we seemed to lose all sense of this flirty culture, if we ever had it to begin with. Yes, our economy is better, but the passion truly thrives in Montreal.
Please share where you live and how it compares to my observations.