Reasons for Moving to Montreal: Men

guy“Fuck, that’s a hot dress” a drunken guy yelled at me as I got off the streetcar in Toronto.

“Do you really have to use fuck when complimenting a woman?” I really was trying to see if he would grasp the concept of classiness.

“I’m not tryina pick you up” he grumbled angrily.

I sighed, exasperated. Trying to get some understanding into this guy would be like banging your head against a brick wall.

This is just one person, you might say. One example of a drunken guy trying to chat up a girl. Having lived in Toronto all of sixteen years now, I can safely say this classless boy is my representation of the guys in the city.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that all Toronto guys lack class, but they surely are lost when dealing with a woman.  I used to think that it is the way it’s supposed to be. It’s normal to walk down the street and not be acknowledged with a smile or a meaningful glance from an attractive guy. But when it becomes nearly impossible to meet a quality man on the streets, bars and at events, a girl really begins to run out of options.Men flirting with woman on street

This is why I love Montreal. Only five hours away from Toronto, it has a culture unique to our typically North American city. Even with its freezing, depressing winters and piles of snow, Montreal has retained an air of possibility that Toronto simply lacks (but the damn snow, alas – not). I can walk through the streets and be met with inquiring, interested and flirty gazes. I can look at the guy I am interested in and get a real reaction, unlike the glassy, scared deer in the headlights look I get in Toronto.  Let me really break down why I believe artsy Montreal has way more potential than busy Toronto.

1. Guys are much cuter. Not only that, their eyes flicker with a spark, a sense of interest… while Torontonians generally look bland with eyes that express nothing

2. They know how to dress

3. The know how to flirt. They can strike up an interesting conversation, during which they look you in the eyes and seem actually interested in what you have to say instead of too busy thinking how to get with you. Toronto guys on the other hand, really don’t know how to approach you in a classy way. This is the way I have been flirted with in the past.

a.       Hey, so my friend is thinking of getting a beard. What do you think?(The friend comes up conveniently) Beard, no beard?

b.      Hi, uh. So you come here often, uh? (eyes are usually huge and all over the place)

c.       Dude, look at your shirt. That’s awesome. You’ve been to Costa Rica! High five! (I unwillingly raise my hand so he doesn’t look completely lame. I can’t believe I have just been called ‘dude’. I can assure you I don’t look like one)

d.      Awkwardly staring. Even if I smile, he doesn’t approach.

e.      Heyyyy, whereyougoingprettygurl? (drunken group slur)Comeback! Wewannatalktoya.

While Montreal flirting usually goes along the lines of simple:

a.       Hello, I am Frederick. What is your name?

Easy, breezy and under control.

3.       Men have more of a sense of who they are. They have a culture, an individuality, a personality and something to say. They do not use lines from “The Anchorman” or “The Game”. They do not treat you as a “dude”. They are quite aware that you are a lady and should be treated as such.

4.      The hipsters ACTUALLY have a personality! Whereas the Toronto hipsters are a pretentious wannabee sack of nothing interesting to say and no personality underneath all that get-uppretentious_hipster_by_jakumetsu-d3be765

5.       There is a sense of playfulness and possibility in the air, whereas Toronto lacks all of the above.

I am aware that Toronto women are partly responsible for the lack of action on the guys’ part. I know from talking to countless guys that their bitchy attitude scarred the guys for life and now they are too wounded to make a move. So, they would rather pretend they are better than you or ignore you. The reality is that even if they do talk to you, there is no sense of spontaneity in them. The conversations are a bit pre-programmed and even the voices sometimes sound robotic. I used to try all sort of book methods such as smiling, approaching even and asking questions that might lead to a conversation. I used to think it was me that did not make enough effort. Montreal shows all girls that there is no such thing. That we do not have to make it seventy percent easier for the men, but instead the men should find the courage to approach you. You smile to the man and BAM, he smiles back, following it up with the approach. This is the way it used to be and we seemed to lose all sense of this flirty culture, if we ever had it to begin with. Yes, our economy is better, but the passion truly thrives in Montreal.

Please share where you live and how it compares to my observations.

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8 thoughts on “Reasons for Moving to Montreal: Men

  1. ummmmm…..ok….i agree guys here are very good looking…but the groups are very sepearted…….i.e the italians think they are too good for luck, the greeks only stick to their own kind, the quebercs are in a league of their own, etc….but one thing that they all have in common is culture….montreal is as close as you will get to europe, south america, etc without ever leaving Canada. Howvere, it is very very difficult to meet men in this city….i have to show you an article about this entitled “montreal, the most beautiful women in the world, so why are they all single?”…….. becaus ethere are so many beaututiful girls in the city, guys can care less about getting involved with someone…..they just turn the corner and there yiu will find another knockout……and when you walk into a bar and they are with their friends….chances are that they won’t even look at you…..they are out having a good time with their friends………….long story short, gorgeous guys, cultured, etc, but very difficult to get serious with.

    • Hmm.. interesting. I wrote this article before doing a video on Montreal. Basically i was comparing Toronto and Montreal: where it is easier to meet someone. I found that the women in Montreal usually make the first move and as a result the men are used to that and take it for granted. So, you may have a point here! I think the women are good looking, available and eager to meet someone so the men don’t make the first move. Thanks for the comment, Bri!

  2. I’m from Sydney and I think the men here are shy unless they’re very drunk. So alot of my friends who are beautiful and smart have been single for years. I’ve never gone out with an Australian myself, even though I am Australian. The grass is always greener on the other side. Sydney guys just don’t know how to approach girls well. I’m sure there are good guys but maybe it’s easier to meet on the Internet so they have enough courage to talk to you. I’ve been single for so long up untill recently. I think Sydney girls are cold and aren’t very open to being picked up as well so that must affect Sydney men. Latín and French men know how to flirt pity they’re such womanizers.

    • Wow, good to know I’m not the only one who thinks that. I watched a video on Sydney and that’s exactly what they were saying: there are more than women. If you are interested it’s called “MyTango” on youtube.

      I think it’s the whole anglosaxon influence. Look at Brits, Americans, Canadians, Aussies. And then compare them to Latins: French, Italian, Argentinians, Brazilians. It’s much more difficult to deal with guys in Canada as well since they are completely clueless about women, act standoffish or yell at you when drunk etc. There is no in-between.. no seduction, no intensity.. I really miss that and this is why I have never had a Canadian boyfriend. I tend to always go for the Europeans or South Americans. How about you?

  3. As an older single gentleman, you lovely erudite women have been some of my best teachers on how to get back into meeting and dating. Thank you for your frank, open conversation.

  4. This is so curious: that North American women are sick of their local men, and would rather go to Europe or Latin America, while the men there are likewise sick of the women and often choose to escape to those same foreign lands, as is apparent from many blogs in the so called manosphere.

    Seems like there’s a serious communication mismatch here, or perhaps just some lust for the exotic.

  5. I am sure some Canadian women are happy with their men, but coming from Russia, I find the mentality here completely different. Many European men (especially coming from places like France and Germany) told me they prefer Latin women since they are more passionate and feminine. I am not sure if this is true for everyone, but yes, we do lust for the exotic or maybe we yearn for people to be warmer and more receptive to us? Just a thought.

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