Real Life Stereotypes

  1. How you going, mate?

It’s one thing to call your guy friends mate. That means man, amigo, dude, tio in Aussie-speak. But calling a girl mate, especially when you are trying to hit it off with her is just weird.  This summer I met an Aussie guy who kept on calling me mate. Like “how you goin’ mate? Whatcha doin’ mate?” Do I look like your rugby playing friend? I kept on emphasizing. “I have boobs!”  but he didn’t seem to get the point. When he made a move on me, I figured OK, he should be smart enough to stop with the whole mate nonsense. Guess what? Even after we shared a  romantic kiss on the beach, he would still refer to me as mate. “You taste like saltwater, mate” he would quirp in that annoying Aussie voice of his. And the funniest thing? He thought that his obnoxiousness was somehow attractive to me. To his surprise, we never ‘hooked up’ and I ended up meeting a French guy who never in his right mind would call me something as asexual as mate.

2.   Going Dutch

I am assuming the term “going dutch” came from Holland. For those who don’t know, it is paying for your own share of food or drinks and personally the idea is repulsive to me. I would rather offer to pay for the guy than split my own side of the bill. In reality though, I am old-fashioned and truly believe the man needs to pay, at least for the first year or so. And after, just emotionally.

Last summer I met a Dutch guy who was great –  smart, funny and cute. I had a thing for him and he seemed to really like me. At least he was so nervous around me, I assumed he did.  He wanted to prove he was somewhat of a gentleman so he could ‘score’ so he asked me if I wanted a drink. I don’t think he thought I would say yes, but I did.   I could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he debated whether or not it would be worth it to get me a drink.  Would we have to pay two point five euros each? How would we make it work? It took him about forty minutes as we went from bar to bar, to finally find a cheaper place and scrape enough cash to treat me. When he did, he felt as proud as if he presented me with a bottle of Dom Perignon. He never did score, so maybe I should mail him a check for my part.

3.  I am from Roma!

Seriously, Italian men just love the fact that they are from Italy. So much so that they call all their cities by their Italian names. “I am from Firenze! I am from Milano! I am from Roma!” Possibly it’s because they cannot speak any English, but most probably it is because they have to play their role of the Italian stallion, the passionate seducer. Think about it – have you ever heard a French guy say he is from Pari? Or a Russian one that he is from Moskva? Italian men are so full of it, I can write a novel on it. The best is when they pause significantly before saying they are from… (insert drum) ITALY! The land of love and seduction. One guy actually presented me with this line after kissing me. “I am leaving for Roma (!!) in one hour. But if we go to the beach right now, I can be your man for this whole hour!” To which I replied “I cannot believe my luck! What did I do to deserve this?” to which he of course replied “What?”

4.  French – the greatest lovers?

Ok, so the first time I kissed a French guy was actually this New Years, so I wouldn’t say I have years of expertise here. However, he was one of the most amazing kisses I have ever experienced. Slow, sensual, made me feel crazy tingles. So, after this I thought “Wow, are all French men like this?” No, they are definitely not. But I gotta say, they are damn sensual and pay a lot of attention to you. The last French guy I was with was a terrible kisser. He was more like a pecker. I felt like I was kissing a relative. However, he was one of the best “lovers” I have ever had (though I’m surprised I even got there with all that pecking). Once again, sensuous and slow and made me feel like I was the center of the world. After which I never heard from him again.

5.  Begging Brazilians

Whoever said that the Brazilians are the best ‘in the sack’? I wouldn’t know, because I never got there. Reason why? They are so damn horny and so bad at hiding it that it can get pretty repulsive. A few years back I went out with a Brazilian guy I kind of liked. I loved our kiss on the first date. He seemed classy. By the second date, his hand was almost in my underwear. I told him no. But why? He asked. It is nice weather. I like you. This is nice. When that beautifully expressed proposal didn’t get the response he desired, he still tried over and over. Maybe I should have  been more firm, which I am bad at, but at one point he started saying ‘please!’ ‘come on!’ ‘ the sky is beautiful. You are.. pretty!’ And then he almost took his pants off. In the end, I never found out how amazing he was in the sack, but he would make a hell of a beggar.

6.  Lying Latinos

Oh the things that Latin guys will say to you to get you in bed! But a lot of us have a soft spot for Latin guys. They are supposed to be the romantics, the lovers, the passionate seducers. Great husbands though? A few weeks ago I went to a Latin Festival, where I ran into a Colombian guy who asked me for my number about a month prior to that, before I left for vacation. He recognized me and asked why I didn’t answer his calls. Distracted,  I kept on looking at the little girl on his arm. His sister, maybe? Then, a short Latin woman joined him with another little kid. My daughters, he mumbled before I smiled to the family and politely excused myself. But clearly I haven’t had my share of Latinos yet, as I met another guy at the same festival. He was cute, tall, Chilean and we had a great spark. He eagerly asked for my number, told me he wanted to see me that week and I was convinced he was very interested. Next day, I found him on Facebook. Not just him, but a woman who was kissing him on his profile picture. Wearing WHITE. And he had a separate album for his DAUGHTER. Yep, two lying Latinos in one day. How is that for a Monday?

 7.  Simple Brit Lads

I love generalizing, really, because obviously there are British guys that are definitely full of it, cocky, arrogant pricks. However, what I have noticed is that British boys have one great quality – they are simple and straight to the point. Many women are simply not attracted to the Brits because they lack that passion and fire that more Southern men tend to play on. However, though dry and seemingly less romantic, they are honest. At least the guys that I’ve met. They will not try to use cheesy lines or lame, overused names like ‘bella’ or ‘hermosa’ that are as a rule tried on every single girl. Or even man (bello). They will say it as it is, but in the end, when they tell you they love you, they will mean it more than the men who use a lot of flowery language to get you into bed.

I have had a little fling with one English lad and up until this day, he still writes to me and asks how I am doing. Meanwhile I have not received even one message from the passionate Latin and Italian men who threw a lot of words around. So, don’t underestimate the power of the Brits. They did make the history!

8.  Oh Canada!

Oh, Canadian boys. I will be very mean and say that I have not once met a Canadian boy I really wanted to date. Many are cute, many are smart and even funny, but for me personally, something is missing. While there are exceptions to any rule, most have no depth, no charm, no culture. I cannot begin to describe how many times I have cringed at their responses. “Cool”, “awesome”, “nice, nice”.. How can everything be cool or awesome? Seriously?

Please prove me otherwise. I have lived in Canada all of my adult life and have yet to find someone who isn’t arrogant, doesn’t have ADD (because he cannot make conversation), doesn’t say the most typical things in the world and has some class or charm. You know where to find me.

9.  A Wife for an Eastern European

Eastern European men are spoiled. At least the ones that reside in Eastern Europe. Russia, Croatia, Serbia, Ukraine are full, and I mean full of gorgeous, model-like, skinny, perfectly dressed and feminine women. And since there are more women than men, guess what? Men can expect anything and get it. The man looks for a woman who can cook, clean, and manage to stay beautiful.

This I experienced first-hand with my first serious Russian boyfriend, who used to complain I didn’t help him clean his floors. I would see him maybe twice a week and he would ask me why I never helped him clean. “Because this is your house?” I would reply. Had I been in Russia, I probably would have gone into the bathroom to start soaking the sheets in detergent.

I guess this is why so many men prefer Eastern European and Asian women. They turn around and BOOM, their socks are clean.

10.     Are Germans Cheap?

Yes. And yes. I have many, many stories about the generosity of Germans, but one of them is really quick and special! It isn’t about me, but a friend of mine who was going out with a German guy for four years. After they broke up, she received an envelope with a letter inside. “Hmm” she thought “Maybe he wrote me a romantic letter about his feelings or a note to say bye.” Instead what she found was a bill for every single thing he has ever bought for her. She would have to pay it all back. How is that for romantic?

* Just as a side note, these are all generalizations or notes from my own experience. If you believe that Canadians are super charming and classy or the Dutch are the most generous men in the World, feel free to share!

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18 thoughts on “Real Life Stereotypes

  1. Hello I’ve read every article of yours and they are all so interesting because I’m planning on travelling myself, and I have thought about the different kinds of men that I am going to meet in the future. Although it just seems that you’re lonely in life, maybe in general? I would love it if you wrote about the positive feelings you have about your experiences with foreign men because everything seems so negative. But if the reality of it is truly this disappointing, I’m sorry you haven’t met somebody that has made a difference in your life.

    • Hi Christina,

      I’m glad you read every article of mine. I wouldn’t say every story is negative. There are definitely positive experiences, and amazing guys (such as the Portuguese guy/The Dutch guy) but it is so much more interesting to write about those ‘bad’ experiences or things gone wrong than just a perfect relationship. I have dated great guys, as in my ex-boyfriend who I went out with for a year. You are right in one thing. I am looking for something else. A feeling, a person and I guess I just haven’t found it yet.:)

      • Haha this blog is so entertaining to me. I thought I was an Italian guy’s girlfriend after seeing him for 6 months. Was I wrong or misled. I found pics of him with another woman seemingly naked in a spa. Then another older women in another city with him on his phone…curiosity got the better of me and I found all this sexual texts between the older woman and him proving they had sex whilst he was seeing me. I snooped on his phone and couldn’t admit what I knew, I was so shocked he’d do it with a 52 yr old she was kind of fat too. Then I found out she was a psychologist and sex therapist lol He’s 29 I think they must have me on the internet. But I really want to know, I felt so betrayed. I didn’t expect it of him. He treated me like I was his girlfriend, I slept over every week or 2, he’d cook for me, we went on holiday. He’s got a double life that Italian womanizer. Anyway I have her email now and I know he ended their trysts/affair saying it was strange to her. I will find out how she met him. I learned that I should ask are we exclusive? Am I your girlfriend cos otherwise he’ll be sneaky, wish I still saw other people when we were going out.

      • Wow. That sounds brutal. I’m sorry.. I’ve heard this many times. In countries like Italy and Argentina, you can go out with someone for half a year but until you have a ‘discussion’ you are not ‘officially’ a couple. Which is complete bullshit and many girls get duped like that.

        Don’t regret anything.. It’s a life lesson! And I’m really interested in these kinds of stories since many girls tell me the same thing. Italians are beautiful, sexy and charming, but when it comes to dating – the worst! Completely unreliable and easily seduced. I’m sure many men will hate me for this, since I am “generalizing” but, hey, it’s true!

      • I just wished I kept seeing other guys on the side. I stopped because after we slept together, I felt guilty going to a movie with a male friend who I was attracted to but we didn’t do anything. I just out of respect for the Italian didn’t think I should hang out solo with this other guy I was attracted to at the time. I also thought about asking if we could be in an open relationship but thought he’d be offended if I asked. But I did live an hours train ride away. So I did think we could easily see other people because we live so far from each other. But seeing 2 people or more at the same time just sounds like too much work so I was faithful the whole time, that’s why I was so annoyed. I’d much prefer honesty or if he just dumped me first instead of leading me on. I’m going to ask him if he thought I was his girlfriend when we went on holidays for 4 days. I want to know if he called me his gf to his friend or flatmates. Or was I just a friend with benefits. Damn I was hoping to date Argentines but I guess they have Italian ancestry and are ridiculously goodlooking so that might explain their infidelity. I guess there’s a price topay if you like good-looking men, they have so many options. My Italian wasn’t even that good-looking. He’s tall but his hair is thinning and he has some ugley/corny tattoos. I remember one night one of his flatmates had a girl over, I thought she was his girlfriend. They were both Italian but later on my Italian said she
        had a boyfriend… even though she was
        all loved up with this other guy. I
        remember saying to my guy “why
        would you do that?” and I think he said
        “I don’t know” but now I reckon he was
        cheating on me around the same time.
        Italians seem to all be seeing someone
        else on the side. It’s so fucked up
        though because he would cook for me,
        snuggle, kiss me as if he loved me etc but now I think he does that for all the other one night stands or affairs which kills me. I think I could understand he has sexual needs but it’s hard enough to know he’s fucking other women but if he treats them affectionately as well I think that really makes me feel insignificant. If he cooks for them, kisses them goes on trips with them, it’s a dealbreaker. I’d rather he fucked them without kissing or emotion and they left. But I suspect that’s unlikely. I think I was his main girl but I think he slept with at least 2 other women, one being the 52 or 53 yr old eeeew. He
        me he found older men with much
        younger women disgusting. It’s ironic
        he was fucking someone old enough to
        be his mother. I managed to get her
        email from messages in his phone so I
        can anonymously ask her how they
        met, how many times did they meet up
        for sex or whatever, did he use a
        condom ’cause I don’t want to get a
        sexual transmitted disease because of
        his indiscretions! The stupid thing is I
        met up with him before he left Australia
        and I slept with him knowing he had
        cheated on me and I was supposed to make him wear a condom but I didn’t. Lol before we did it though he asked me if I’d been with anyone else. He’d been travelling for 2 months in New Zealand and Australia we didn’t discuss if we were breaking up but I assumed it. Anyway I said, no because it’s true and he said, “me too” but lol I thought, yeah right I’m sure he fooled around on his travels! I was seriously affection and love starved and I needed to say goodbye to him. But I still don’t know where we stand after I said bye. Long distance love sounds too difficult especially when I know he’s a cheater/womaniser. I just wish I didn’t have feelings for him and could cut all contact off but I want to still be friends, which is silly.

  2. Well I’ve dated a Romanian, Bulgarian, Scotsman, Latino, and Canadian (I’m American, but American guys just don’t interest me..) Anyways my Canadian is the complete opposite of everything you said. I understand that’s your experience, and I’m not saying you’re totally wrong. Just in my case, he doesn’t fit that at all. He’s very very charming, sweet, loving, very intelligent, and supportive. The day I met him we had in depth conversations. Up through our entire relationship we still just sit and talk about literature, world politics, religion, the meaning of life, anything honestly. And he puts his all into the conversation. I suppose all that sounds boring, but he’s very passionate about his views, yet open to mine. So it’s very refreshing. He’s anything but arrogant, hell he doubts himself more than anyone else does. Then charming… oh lord this man. He can quite literally charm the pants off. But he’s respectful, and thoughtful. If I don’t want it, he immediately backs off and is perfectly happy with just spending time together. Heck I usually end up giving in because he’s so sweet… lol. He’s always making sure I know how he feels. Constantly telling me he loves me, and texting me during the day just to see how I’m doing. Discussing minor things like the weather and whatever, and mid-conversation he’ll text back, “By the way, I love you.” It makes my day most definitely. And he is a BIG pleaser. In the bedroom he is all for “I’m going to make you feel amazing” not just looking to get off. And afterwards, he loves to cuddle, kiss, and just talk about whatever we feel like. Honestly he’s the easiest person to talk to I’ve ever met as well. Sorry for such a long comment, just wanted to say not all Canadian guys are like that 🙂

    • Hi Rayne,

      Sounds like you’re in LOVE:)

      And you right. My articles focus on most Canadians I encounter, but it is impossible to encompass every single person. There are always amazing people, no matter the country. I am not denying there are lots of great guys from this country.. I am saying that the majority of Torontonians (guys who reside in Toronto) are not of the best quality. I think if you go to Calgary, Vancouver and of course Montreal, men there are completely different. Incidentally, where is your guy from?

      • Yeah I understand definitely. And he was born in the Vancouver area, but he spent most of his life around Toronto actually. But maybe since he’s born out west that’d make a difference. 🙂

      • It might make a difference, or it might not.. The thing with generalizations is that that’s what they are. I could say (and have said) I find French men cheap, since that’s what I mainly encountered.. Then I met a French guy that was very generous and pretty much shut myself up. However, I will say majority still rules. You should come out here to Toronto and take a look for yourself 😉

  3. Ahh the good ol’ Aussies. Im from Aus and i can definitely say that we refer to everyone as a ‘mate’ lol. As unclassy as it sounds, i think its just part of our culture

  4. Did you friend actually pay all of that back?! LOL what a sad patheric joke that guy was.. I would just rip the envelope or better yet fill it up with garbage and sent it back to him.. Are you serious?! I’m shocked like who even thinks of that?! Please tell me how your friend reacted!

    • To be honest, Shay.. I have no idea. It’s a crazy story told by a friend of a friend so who knows? I would hope she would have the backbone to tell him no!

  5. I laughed out loud at your description for dutch men!! I don’t have experience with dutch men but have a fair amount of experience with Spaniards (Catalans to be precise), and they’re the cheapest men I’ve ever met… Moving to Barcelona from New York, I was so shocked when guys don’t buy me drinks in clubs here… in fact, I even met a guy who asked me if I wanted to get a drink and then asked me for three euros because he was short. SMH! I was so excited when I went on vacation to Las Vegas, I finally felt like I got treated properly again 😉

    • Wow, didn’t know Spanish guys were that cheap!! It’s really interesting because we tend to think of the Southern men as being the most generous, but that is not the case. When I was in Argentina for example, I met the cheapest men and apparently Italians are not known for their generosity either, though I have no personal experience with that. Good old Americans. I haven’t met any that were stingy with money, so you definitely appreciate them when you deal with some Europeans.

      • I don´t really know people from the rest of spain, but Catalans also have a reputation for being stingy .. However, my guess is also because the economy is not good and young people don´t earn a good living, people are more reluctant to spend it on others.. it´s just my speculation though 🙂

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