A hilarious story of being chased down by an Italian guy in the middle of the night as he professed his love for me. Ah, Italian men. It is a must try speciality on your next trip to Italy, followed by an aperitivo and tartuffo gelato.
Having heard amazing things about Sorrento, located in the Amalfi Coast of Italy, from my friend who met a beautiful Italian and had sex with him on a beach (followed by no more romance, clearly) I was interested to see what this place would be like. It is swamped by men, narrated my friend, her eyes lit up. You have to go there!
She was right about one thing, it was filled with beautiful men. Bronzed, toned and practically smelling of scooters and sex, they were everywhere. I even made it a game for myself to see how many guys I could consider sleeping with. The list made it pretty far before I gave up counting and considered myself a slut.
That night though, I didn’t meet anyone and was tired of sitting in touristy bars, scoping out guys, so I followed the girls from my hostel home.
Suddenly, I heard someone speaking in Italian behind me. I turned around. There was this pretty blond boy with light blue eyes and sculpted lips, a helmet in his hands, following me.
“Baciami!” He pointed at his cheek, clearly wanting me to kiss him.
The boy seemed to get the hint somewhat and disappeared. Minutes later, however, he reappeared right behind me.
“Catso!” I exclaimed with my swear number two, though a part of me was strangely flattered. He was quite beautiful. Tall, tanned, sporting a light pink polo shirt and jeans. I knew there was only one reason he must have followed me this far and it wasn’t because he wanted to get to know me.
“What is your name?” he asked, coming up.
“What is yours?” I asked.
“I am Gabrielle”
“I can walk with you, Mia?” It wasn’t really a question. Rather a matter of fact.
“You look like you are too young for me” I told him, looking him over. He looked to be about twenty-three.
“I am not too young” he said.
“Just how young are you?” I pressed, not really wanting to know anyways. It was clear he was too young.
“I am twenty-one” he said. “Actually, I joke. I am twenty-four. Does it matter?”
“Yes, I am twenty-seven. You are too young either way.” I said and continued walking.
He ran up to me and grabbed my hand. “Come with me.” The girls continued walking in front of us.
“I am not going anywhere with you.” I said, trying to break my hand free. At the same time, a little intrigued and curious as usual, I thought why not? I might have a chance to write about him later in my blog.
Suddenly, he took my face and turned it to his. He kissed me so quickly, I didn’t even have a chance to react. But once he did kiss me, I pushed him away. “What are you doing?”
“ I like you” He said. “You are very beautiful.”
“You do not even know me!” I exclaimed with a half laugh. “What is my name?”
“There you go. You don’t even know my name. How can you ‘like me’?”
“Mia. Your name Mia. I remember names.” He smiled impishly.
I sighed. “Ok, nice to meet you. Now I’m going to go.”
“Where you go? I go with you.”
“You are not going to my hotel. My friends are waiting for me.” I pointed at the bored Australian girls who were standing a few meters away, talking and looking back every so often.
“It’s ok” he said. “Come!” he led me to a side street. I tried fighting him off, but it was quite useless. Probably because I didn’t really fight him off, rather pretended to.
There, in that side street, he took my face in his hands and began kissing me again, eagerly.
“Why you are not relaxed?” he asked. “Try to relax when I kiss you.”
“I am not relaxed, because I don’t want to kiss you!” I said. This was incredible – now I wasn’t relaxed when kissing him. The guy that literally forced himself on me.
“I help you find your hotel” He said.
“Si, we go together.” He stated as if I had no other choice. “I know everything in Sorrento.”
“You are not helping me find my hotel. I don’t even know you.”
“You do. I am Gabrielle. You are Mia”
I sighed loudly, exasperated. “My friends are waiting for me!”
“Is ok. They know where the hotel is, yes?”
Giving up and also finding this quite hilarious, I followed his lead. We walked around the dark streets speaking a mixture of bad English on his part and bad Italian on my part. Every so often, he would stop and say “Uf, I need a break.” Then he would press me to him and begin kissing me. At first I kept on pushing him away, but as the kissing continued, I finally gave in and began to enjoy myself a bit. He was a kid but a very beautiful and Italian kid and what better way to enjoy Italy then through a genuine Italian experience?
Finally, through all the walking and getting lost, my relationship with Gabrielle escalated so much and so rapidly that he looked into my eyes after kissing me and said the three words every girl wants to hear.
I burst out laughing. “You do not love me! What is it with you Italian men?”
“But I do. I love you.”
“You don’t know me!I just met you twenty minutes ago. You don’t even know what I do!”
“What do you do, Mia?”
“I am a teacher. And you?”
“I am studying to be chiropractor.” He answered. Having gotten that out of the way he pulled me into him again. “Kiss me”
There it was. Our first real relationship talk. Now we knew each other inside and out.
The next time we got lost, I figured he must be doing this on purpose.
“You better help me find the hotel.”
“Why are you in hurry?” He asked.
“I am tired, that’s why.”
“Why you are tired. Is early.”
“It is 4 am.”
“Early! Kiss me!” he pressed his eager lips into mine.
I sighed. There was no way out of this. He pressed me towards the fence and kissed me. He also pressed his erection towards my pelvis and I figured this time he wanted more than kissing. I guessed I was right when I heard unzipping.
This is when I squirmed out of his passionate embrace and practically ran down the hill. He ran after me.
“Mia, I am sorry. Mia, wait!”
“I am not having sex with you.”
“No sex, just kissing. I love you.”
“Stop saying you love me already!” I exclaimed. He was being ridiculous. “All you Italian men are the same.”
“I am good boy. What are you saying?” He smiled impishly.
We walked around for a few more minutes, until finally I located the road my hotel was on and skipped towards it happily with him following behind grouchily.
Knowing this was it, the end of our quick romance, he pressed me towards yet another fence and once again, I felt his hardness on me.
“Gabrielle” I said, once I finally had a chance to breathe. “ I am not having sex with you.”
“But you are twenty-seven. You are virgin?” he cocked his head to the side, genuinely confused.
“That’s not your business. But either way, I don’t go to Italy to have sex with all Italian boys” I exclaimed.
“But I love you.” He continued.
Exasperated I broke out of his embrace and walked towards the hotel. “Goodnight Gabrielle!”
Standing there, dejected he looked towards me as I walked through the door. “Ciao”